Do I really want that sailing boat?

Ilustration: Carmen Pérez

 

“The cost of a thing is the amount of what I will call life which is required to be exchanged for it, immediately or in the long run.” ― Henry David Thoreau, Walden

 

In my previous post I was talking about “purpose” (ikigai) or what is the meaning of life for me or many of us. I wrote about the thing – or things – that wake me up every morning to embrace my day with enough energy and determination to advance in one direction.

I got some feedback that my post was not conclusive and that I was not making clear what my intention was when I wrote it. Ok, my intention was to write again and do it in English. I wrote some blog posts in the past – not published anymore – but wanted to do it again, adding the challenge of writing in English, which is not my mother tongue.

Why I wrote about ikigai? the reason is I got to know the concept recently and it is helping me to decide what, when, where and how I want to live the life that I still have ahead of me. One of these things driving me ahead is writing.

Probably for most people - like for me - finding their purpose is difficult. If my decisions were only based on what I enjoy doing, it would be too hard. I like many things, but of course, I am not good at all of them. Even considering what I am good at, I still find it complicated, because these things do not match necessarily a specific type of work – they are generic.

I like technology, writing, drawing, photography, filming, theater, adventures, and many other things. I am good at adapting to changes, managing stress and complex situations, learning, sharing my knowledge and getting along with people. All these things alone do not bring me anywhere if I do not know how to put them together. Even more so, I could arrange their sequence depending on what my destination point is.

My life experiences have taught me that the destination is not a fixed point. It changed with the circumstances influenced by external variables I was not able to control. When I was young, I was sure what – and who – I wanted to be as an adult, but over the time I have come to realize that I build my purpose through the paths I follow – or create. Purpose is not the destination.

Of course, all of us need – or I need – to know where I want to be in five or ten years to act in consequence, otherwise I would be running without direction. This is not bad for some people who can live their days mindlessly, without a care in the world, but it is not my case.

I need to have this idea of “destination” even when it could be a point that moves over time. But the destination itself is not enough.  I have also learnt that it is important for me to know the price I am willing to pay to get there being completely honest whether I am willing to pay that price or not.

Since I was a kid, I’ve been dreaming of doing the Atlantic crossing by sail in my sailing boat. In those days it was a dream completely out of my reach. Many times, I planned with one of my best friends when and how we would do that trip together. Frankly speaking, I never thought this dream would ever come true, and neither did I do much work to achieve it. About ten years ago I had my first opportunity to go sailing and I enjoyed it, but it was when I realized that having a sailboat was not my dream. I was not willing to pay the price it involves. When I say the price, I mean not only the money, but also all the attached responsibilities that come with it.

Like that dream I had, there are many things I would really like to be doing now, but the list immediately gets reduced as soon as I figure out the price I would need to pay. How many of my living principles would I need to challenge? How much time I want to give? How would it affect my family? How many of the things I have or I do am I willing to give up?

Unfortunately, I cannot tell you how you will find your purpose. I am still working on finding mine, and probably I will still be looking for it until my last day. I cannot stay still. What I can definitely tell you is that if you are looking for something, just think if you are – honestly – willing to pay the price. The path you think is going to take you to your dream destination can fork in many directions, may have deviations, alternatives. The destination could not be there in the future or would not prove to be  what you were looking for. You will only know it as soon as you reach it, but by then you will already have walked the path and paid the price.